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Saying “So” makes you sound weak and afraid to voice your opinion!

15 Jul

“So” may be the new “well,” “um,” “oh” and “like.”

To begin a sentence with “oh,” she said in an e-mail message, is to focus on what you have just remembered and your own concerns. To begin with “so,” she said, is to signal that one’s coming words are chosen for their relevance to the listener.

The ascendancy of “so,” Dr. Bolden said, “suggests that we are concerned with displaying interest for others and downplaying our interest in our own affairs.”

Perhaps we all live now in fear that a conversation could snap at any moment, could be interrupted by so many rival offerings. With “so,” we beg to be heard. We insist, time and again, that this is it; this is what you’ve been waiting to hear; this is the “so” moment.

Saying “So” make s you sound weak and afraid to voice your opinion.  It makes you look like you have to fight for attention.  It shows that you can’t pause and let silence fill the room.  “So” is a filler word to delay an answer and it dulls your listening audience.  Break the habit of “So” via training from a speech coach such as TALLspeaking.

Keith Scott – So, like, why am I saying “um”?

16 May

Filler words, anxiety, public speaking

So, like, why am I saying “um”?

Why do we use filler words? The simplest answer is that we have been conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age. When our mother or father asked us a question, we were sure to answer right away—either because we wanted to show respect or because we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t answer. Consequently, we feel the urge to speak when spoken to.

The next time you are asked a question, take a couple seconds to think about what you want to say. This pause serves two important purposes: it will help you begin powerfully, and it will help you avoid using a filler word. Pause, think, answer.

The same public speaking technique applies when you are transitioning from one idea to another. While you may be tempted to fill the silence between ideas with a filler word, remember to pause and give yourself a moment to think about what you want to say next. It is important that you don’t begin speaking until you are ready.Remember: Pause, think, answer.

It may feel unnatural to pause, especially since you have responded to questions right away for your entire life. I assure you that you will deliver more powerful responses and reduce your chance of using filler words if you give yourself time to think.

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