Tag Archives: breathing

Show me your inner freak!!

15 Oct

Getting older has one silver lining – you can quickly discern and remove those fake people from your life.  To me it’s all about authenticity – truly being your chemical make-up.   So many people lose authenticity and become robotic copies of people they think are successful.  Morrissey has a song called “People are the same everywhere”  and he is desperate not to be part of a herd mentality.  The herd has no passion, no innovation, no richness, no depth.

If you are fake in communication –  face to face or to a group your listeners will flip the channel – there eyes will be hollow stares as they go into their own world.  You might as well be talking to your dog.  You must speak and brand you – no matter how strange you think you are inside.  To communicate you must release the freak.

Do one thing today to release your inner freak  and comment!!

I am a proud Introvert and a Public Speaker?

19 Aug

Introverts can be public speakers!

Introverts can be public speakers!

Do you freak out when your cell phone is down to 10 percent and you can’t find a plug to charge anywhere?  You may debate – should I turn it off to save the battery or just hope you get to a place to charge in time?  For me by Friday afternoon my battery is red-lining.  I am desperate for some solitude – to get away from conversation and interaction.  I need that time to put all my thoughts in order and to make sense of the world.

People think that only extroverts can be good public speakers because they gain their energy from people.  They think that introverts can’t stand people and only want to live on a remote island.  That type of talk is rubbish and completely ignorant and irresponsible.   Anyone can be an amazing speaker but they have to know their temperament and limitations with stimulation.  I have learned that I must have some time before a presentation (10-15) minutes to put my thoughts in order and find that inner solitude.  So, my introverted friends – don’t let an emotional condition hold you back from communicating with the world?

Introvert 2

Always go red when you’re embarrassed? New research shows it’s a sign you’ll be a great lover

19 Jun

 

 

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Blushing occurs when adrenalin generated by an uncomfortable situation makes blood vessels near the surface of the skin expand, allowing more blood to flow and leaving the sufferer red-faced.

It’s an involuntary reaction which we all fall victim to from time to time, but pale and pasty skins such as mine show up the offending blush more than darker ones.

And it’s not just your cheeks that go red. The ‘blush region’ can include your ears, neck and chest — and each blush is different. Some come on thick and fast, others spread slowly across the upper-body like a horrible, blotchy rash.

blushing still shows endearing vulnerability — so much so that, even today, researchers say blushing can help us when we are dating, or even trying to do a business deal.

They’ve also concluded that when we blush after doing something socially embarrassing — such as accidentally standing on someone’s toe — it’s like an non-verbal apology and therefore diffuses any aggression.

 

Do you turn red in group settings?

Do you turn red in group settings?

Here are some tips on how to reduce blushing especially when speaking in Public!

  • Try chewing gum. Takes a mind off things.
  • Do as many social things as possible. The more comfortable you are around people, the less you will blush. Interacting with people will make your life more fulfilling and will simply make you a confident and more interesting person.
  • If you blush every time you are even in the same room as your crush, or talking to them especially, you probably turn very red. This type of blushing can be so intense it is unavoidable. The only thing you can do in a situation like this is try to calm yourself by taking a few deep breaths.
  • Try casually covering your cheek with your hand if you feel a blush coming on and can’t prevent it.
  • Keep drinking water if you feel like you’re going red.
  • Remember that people really don’t tend to notice unless you make it a big deal and try too hard to hide it.
  • If worse comes to worst, go to the nearest bathroom or kitchen and put a damp cloth on your face. An air conditioner will also do the trick.
  • Don’t worry blushing is natural, its beautiful as it makes a person look alive and healthy. People don’t notice it as much as you think in fact your body language is what counts, so if you’re blushing ignore it and keep your body language normal.
  • Try wearing foundation that matches your natural skin tone. It works like an absolute charm.
  • Try using a paler foundation, or one that matches your skin tone. Relax, and just try to ignore it!

“How would I really say this”?

10 Jun

How many times have you listened to speakers and thought – they sound so FAKE.  Here are some tips to sound authentic/honest when giving a talk.

1. Include your natural qualities. Make a list of qualities that describe your strengths, for instance – sweet, kind, funny, serious, intense, direct, knowledgeable. Bring those qualities into your talk or performance. There is a tendency for speakers to think they have to act a certain way. Resist the temptation to be any way you think you should and just go with being the person your close friends know you to be.

2. Be Unique. Everyone has unique and quirky behaviors. Allow the quirky aspects of your personality to be a part of your speaking or performing style. Those personality quirks will be the marks of authenticity that your audience perceives with the eyes and ears of their hearts.

3. Let your style be based on your natural rhythms. Introverts and extrovert share different rhythms for expression. Introverts are deep and inwardly focused, so their thoughts and words come from the depths of their being. If you are an introvert, let your self speak slowly and deliberately and thoughtfully. Don’t try to manufacture enthusiasm that is false for you. Extroverts are dynamic and outwardly focused. If you are extroverted, be large and dramatic. Don’t try to squash your natural energies or be too controlled.

4. Say it like you would say it in real life. Speak, present or perform just like you are talking to friends in your living room. Ask yourself, “How would I really say this?” Then say it that way as if you were talking to a close friend.

5. Give up trying to be perfect. Let your style be imperfect. Don’t try to speak like you write. Instead of trying to speak perfectly, focus on speaking the truth. When you tell the truth, you don’t speak in literary phrases. You let it come from your heart as you feel it.

6. Realize that being perfect does not equate to being effective. Being effective does not have to do with your performance. It has to do with what happens to the listeners as a result of who you are being with them.

7. Make space for your fear. Give yourself permission to feel your fear, anxiety or tension when you are presenting and performing. The fear is energy; it is power and passion. When you create space inside yourself to feel the fear, it converts into passion that causes your words to vibrate with electricity.

How to break-up a conversation with an annoying person

28 May

  • You need to feed the parking meter.
  • You need to step outside to make a phone call.
  • You need to get another drink.
  • You need to visit the bathroom.
  • You need to ask so-and-so a question.
  • A blanket “I need to excuse myself for a moment” or “Please excuse me,” will do in a pinch. (People will assume you mean: “...to go to the bathroom,” but everyone poops so don’t worry about it.)

Here are some more tips:

  • Don’t worry if your reason is a white lie. You may not actually need to pee when you excuse yourself. That’s ok. Go to the rest room, wash your hands, collect yourself, and when you come out find yourself a new conversational partner.
  • It’s not a question. You’re not asking permission to leave, you’re informing that you’re leaving. So state “So nice talking with you! I need to excuse myself. If I don’t talk to you later, enjoy the party” and then walk away.
  • If the person doesn’t take the hint, you can escalate/interrupt. “I’m so sorry to cut you off, but I need to step away for a moment. Maybe we’ll pick this up later!” and then leave the area.

It’s Official: College Sex Weeks Are A Thing Now Read more:

3 Apr

Several Universities across the United States are having Sex Week.  Classes such as “Reclaiming Pleasure,” and many others are being offered!  While sex is important to us all – it’s never good with out communication.  Strong communication is key in every area of our life from our partners, children, friends, and your work environment.  So I think that in conjunction with College Sex week their should be College Communication week where we discuss eye contact, making anxiety work for you, body language – what are you communicating and learning how to inspire an audience with your word choice.  Are you ready to help me lobby for College Communication week? 

When I attended my first TALLspeaking seminar, I was so nervous. I thought to myself, “Not another public speaking class!”

26 Mar

When I attended my first TALLspeaking seminar, I was so nervous.  I thought to myself, “Not another public speaking class!”, as I told my boss how excited I was to attend.  I couldn’t believe how interactive and fun the seminar was!  Not only did I pick up on some great tips and tricks of public speaking but I also learned how to be comfortable in front of a group of strangers.  Keith does an amazing job in getting the group to actively participate throughout the seminar.  I was so impressed with his presentation that I recommended to our CEO for Keith to come in to do not just 1 but 2 seminars for our credit union.  Keith’s first seminar was on Intrapersonal Communication, the entire staff attended.  The second seminar was on Public Speaking for our supervisors and leaders of our organization.  I have received an incredible amount of positive feedback from the staff.  Each staff member was enthusiastically engaged while Keith was presenting.  It was truly a pleasure to work with Keith and he is remarkably good at teaching Communication skills.  I highly recommend TALLspeaking, I promise that everyone at all levels of your organization will benefit from this seminar!

Rebecca Coakley, PHR

HR Manager

The Partnership Federal Credit Union

You should see what kind of confidence I have…….

25 Mar

Public speaking builds confidence.

Self confidence is a strong indicator of success in the workplace. If you can get up in front of a group of strangers and talk, you can easily handle important meetings or social obligations. You will, as you become more comfortable as a in front of groups, find that you stand straighter, make better eye contact and feel less hesitant to initiate conversations with strangers.

Public speaking provides opportunities

Let’s say that you work in a corporate position and have been asked to be part of a project team. When it comes time to present the project, you are the only one willing to step up. As a result, you will be seen as a leader. From that perception will come promotions and other opportunities for advancement. Leadership is valued by employers.

Public speaking makes you articulate.

In everyday speech, we all find ourselves stammering, repeating phrases as we try to put our train of thought back on the rails, and using filler sounds such as “um,” or “you know.” A lot of this behavior is unconscious. But if you were to attend a presentation and the speaker used a lot of fillers or stammered, you would likely question that person’s qualifications for giving the presentation in the first place. Right?

As you build your speaking skills, you eliminate much of the messiness from your speech patterns. Instead of “um,” you pause. You are comfortable with that quiet moment. The effects of this are that you sound more intelligent than the average person, whether you are or not!

As many famous people have discovered……

6 Mar

 

 
Voice
As many famous people have discovered, your
voice can be a powerful tool. But like any tool
you must practice with it to use it well. When
giving a speech, you want the entire audience to
hear you. The following points may help:
• Project your voice and speak up. Voice projection is not
shouting, and you can do it without straining. Speaking from
the back of the throat makes your voice sound weak and
tires it faster; use your diaphragm muscles to make your
voice carry. The diaphragm muscles are between your chest
and stomach. Using them will help you relax and make your
voice sound stronger.
• Try to sound like yourself. Use a conversational tone with
familiar words.
• Speak at a comfortable pace so everyone can hear and understand your entire speech.
• Enunciate (pronounce clearly) all vowels and consonants.
• Don’t slur your words – practice pronouncing the d’s, t’s and
ing’s on the end of words.
• When you’re rehearsing a speech, have someone stand near the
back of the room to give you feedback on your projection and
delivery, as well as content.

What is this TALLspeaking? Public Speaking made easy!

6 Nov

What do you learn through TALLspeaking lessons?

  • Create a great first impression.
  • Overcome nervousness, anxiety and the fear of public speaking while presenting in a clear, concise, and persuasive manner.
  • Learn and practice how to make a formal or informal presentation.
  • Deliver a clear, concise, and persuasive presentation.
  • Understand and design the components of a professional presentation.
  • Practice designing and delivering a presentation.
  • Understand personal voice projection, articulation, pacing, and fluency.
  • Enhance personal body language, eye contact, and gesturing.
  • Use public speaking media effectively.
  • Project control and confidence while presenting.
  • Overcome negative or distracting personal mannerisms.
  • Handle difficult audience questions.
  • Plan a presentation around the forces that affect business communication.
  • Structure a presentation to gain maximum effect.
  • Implement persuasive communication presentation techniques
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