Tag Archives: LinkedIn

But who asked you, anyway ?

17 Aug

So the life I have made
May seem wrong to you
But, I’ve never been surer
It’s my life to ruin
My own way

Morrissey

 ( JUDGEMENT) A common vocalization from my clients.   The world is teeming with judgement and it is a sickness that we see pronounced at every checkout line.   We demonize judgement but it has helped us evolve and survive in a dangerous world.  We all do it consciously or unconsciously – for some it cripples – the ability to live fully.  It truly sucks the life out of their personality.  Realize that everyone judges you and puts you in a box in the first 5 seconds.  You have been stamped and cataloged.  That is graphic reality.

When you are asked to give a presentation or speak up at a company meeting -you can sway that judgement to the positive by showing the audience that you have broken free of any residue  (judgement anxiety).  When they sense your complete control of your mind their negative thoughts evaporate – you will gain a new respect.  You will be seen as a model of completeness that so many will envy.  This creates desire to hear your message.  This will be you launch to new orbits of communication

Begin with a Flavor Scene – hmmmmm?

12 Aug

Many of the clients I coach ask me “I just don’t know how to start my talk”?  We have been trained to start with our name and what organization or position we hold in a company.  THAT IS BORING!  You have 5 seconds to capture your audience’s attention and you think saying your name and company will grab them!  Imagine if every movie started with “Today you will be watching”  You must start by grabbing attention.

Begin with a Flavor Scene

Good movies  open with what is called a “flavor scene,” grabbing attention and positioning the audience for what is to come. I relate the first three pages of a movie script to the first thirty seconds of your speech.

Mike Powell, when he was a senior scientist at Genentech, grabbed the interest of a Continental Breakfast Club audience by beginning: “Being a scientist is like doing a jigsaw puzzle, in a snow storm…at night…when you don’t have all the pieces…or the picture you are trying to create.” Everyone sat up and paid attention, they realized that they could understand and relate to the challenges and frustration of a scientist. That immediately proved it would not be a technical presentation.

Your flavor scene doesn’t necessarily have to lead where the audience expects it to, but it should make an impact, and it must tie in to what follows

Saying “So” makes you sound weak and afraid to voice your opinion!

15 Jul

“So” may be the new “well,” “um,” “oh” and “like.”

To begin a sentence with “oh,” she said in an e-mail message, is to focus on what you have just remembered and your own concerns. To begin with “so,” she said, is to signal that one’s coming words are chosen for their relevance to the listener.

The ascendancy of “so,” Dr. Bolden said, “suggests that we are concerned with displaying interest for others and downplaying our interest in our own affairs.”

Perhaps we all live now in fear that a conversation could snap at any moment, could be interrupted by so many rival offerings. With “so,” we beg to be heard. We insist, time and again, that this is it; this is what you’ve been waiting to hear; this is the “so” moment.

Saying “So” make s you sound weak and afraid to voice your opinion.  It makes you look like you have to fight for attention.  It shows that you can’t pause and let silence fill the room.  “So” is a filler word to delay an answer and it dulls your listening audience.  Break the habit of “So” via training from a speech coach such as TALLspeaking.

Going to dinner on first date is a MAJOR MISTAKE

11 Jun

So  you meet someone on Match.com and you decide on a first date.     You are nervous with anticipation thinking will we click?  Will there be any chemistry.

So you decide to go out to dinner – MAJOR MISTAKE

Why?  

Think about it – 60-70 percent of communication is non-verbal.

So what?

Well, if you are sitting behind a table at a restaurant you are missing a huge percentage of body language that may allow you to figure out – is this the right one?  

Suggestion -Find an activity that requires body language such as bowling or miniature  golf.  This will allow you to read the body language as well as the verbal cues. This will make your dating experiences much richer and deeper.

“How would I really say this”?

10 Jun

How many times have you listened to speakers and thought – they sound so FAKE.  Here are some tips to sound authentic/honest when giving a talk.

1. Include your natural qualities. Make a list of qualities that describe your strengths, for instance – sweet, kind, funny, serious, intense, direct, knowledgeable. Bring those qualities into your talk or performance. There is a tendency for speakers to think they have to act a certain way. Resist the temptation to be any way you think you should and just go with being the person your close friends know you to be.

2. Be Unique. Everyone has unique and quirky behaviors. Allow the quirky aspects of your personality to be a part of your speaking or performing style. Those personality quirks will be the marks of authenticity that your audience perceives with the eyes and ears of their hearts.

3. Let your style be based on your natural rhythms. Introverts and extrovert share different rhythms for expression. Introverts are deep and inwardly focused, so their thoughts and words come from the depths of their being. If you are an introvert, let your self speak slowly and deliberately and thoughtfully. Don’t try to manufacture enthusiasm that is false for you. Extroverts are dynamic and outwardly focused. If you are extroverted, be large and dramatic. Don’t try to squash your natural energies or be too controlled.

4. Say it like you would say it in real life. Speak, present or perform just like you are talking to friends in your living room. Ask yourself, “How would I really say this?” Then say it that way as if you were talking to a close friend.

5. Give up trying to be perfect. Let your style be imperfect. Don’t try to speak like you write. Instead of trying to speak perfectly, focus on speaking the truth. When you tell the truth, you don’t speak in literary phrases. You let it come from your heart as you feel it.

6. Realize that being perfect does not equate to being effective. Being effective does not have to do with your performance. It has to do with what happens to the listeners as a result of who you are being with them.

7. Make space for your fear. Give yourself permission to feel your fear, anxiety or tension when you are presenting and performing. The fear is energy; it is power and passion. When you create space inside yourself to feel the fear, it converts into passion that causes your words to vibrate with electricity.

TALLspeaking – “I won’t apologize for my tone tonight”

7 Jun

Just as there are many forms of communication, there also are various tones that can go along with the messages. Sometimes what is ultimately communicated has nothing to do with the actual words used. It could be a look, a perception or a statement not made that tells more than the words used. In short, the tone of what is communicated can be as critical as the message.

 

So here is a shorthand look at some of the various tones of communication that executives and managers may be sending between the lines of the real message they intend to deliver.

  • Just the facts. There is nothing flowery in this data/information-based kind of communication, where only facts are stated without context. The recipient gets the data, but not necessarily the relative importance. Each recipient gets to create his or her interpretation of the meaning and import.
  • Angry eyes. The listener can tell by looking at your eyes that this message matters big time. However, it is too easy to misinterpret that the speaker is angry about not getting that promotion while delivering a totally unrelated message to someone else.
  • Between the lines. We hear what was said but know deep down that the speaker doesn’t really mean that. Everyone knows the real meaning of an announcement that a “valued” member of the team is leaving the company to “pursue other interests.” Translation? Fired.
  • Curt. Maybe the boss doesn’t buy in to this communication and is just following orders. A curt tone leaves the listener guessing.
  • Generic. This tone describes the way the boss generally communicates. These messages usually contain nothing of note. They can be ignored like all the rest.
  • The big one. This is the memo that talks about all you’ve been through together and the tough times coming during the next year. Translation? Dust off the resume; a hit list is being made.
  • The joker. Some messages contain so many genuinely funny comments that it’s difficult to tell when the person is really not kidding.
  • Pals’ talk. When messages always treat subordinates like buddies rather than subordinates, the communications don’t always carry the necessary weight. It can be a shocking surprise when the really tough message has to be delivered. Suddenly, the pal is no longer a friend.

No matter what message an executive or manager is attempting to communicate, it is important that the method of delivery be taken into consideration. And after the communication, it is just as important to doulbe-check with the recipients about what it is they heard, as opposed to what was said.

Security experts say LinkedIn suffered data breach – TALLspeaking – Your Speech Trainer

6 Jun

Security experts say LinkedIn suffered data breach

BOSTON/NEW YORK | Wed Jun 6, 2012 7:05pm BST

(Reuters) – Computer security experts in the United States and Europe warned they have uncovered evidence that the social networking site LinkedIn has suffered a data breach that compromised the passwords of an unknown number of its users.

The one amazing thing about being a great speaker – your data can never get breached – even if someone steals your files or spills coffee on your speech you can still perform.  Your brain can not be breached.  Even though Social Media is all the rage and can expand your reach it is never totally safe.    Don’t wait for that moment that you must communicate off the cuff be ready and trained so that your not tongue twisted but smooth and crisp.

 

 

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