Tag Archives: Losing my mind

trauma response-public speaking anxiety

17 Nov

Did something early in live create your fear of public speaking?

Did something early in life create your fear of public speaking?

Public speaking anxiety is usually something that originates in early childhood. Perhaps a child was shouted at by a stressed parent when they tried to speak up, or had an early traumatic experience speaking out at school. This causes a trauma response to be attached to the idea of public speaking, and so every time that person is required to speak in public, the trauma is “triggered”. Experts explain that the way to deal with a public speaking anxiety is to remove the emotional tag from the experience – so speaking in front of others no longer triggers the old trauma. This is entirely possible, but is unlikely to happen of its own accord. Most people with this fear need outside help.

Let me see you pose for employment….hmmmm

17 Oct

A study published last year, led by Amy J.C. Cuddy, an associate professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, required participants to strike power poses for several minutes before beginning a mock job interview. Those who did so got better reviews and were more likely to be hired—even though evaluators never saw them in the poses.

So break old body-language habits and start power posing! –

Show me your inner freak!!

15 Oct

Getting older has one silver lining – you can quickly discern and remove those fake people from your life.  To me it’s all about authenticity – truly being your chemical make-up.   So many people lose authenticity and become robotic copies of people they think are successful.  Morrissey has a song called “People are the same everywhere”  and he is desperate not to be part of a herd mentality.  The herd has no passion, no innovation, no richness, no depth.

If you are fake in communication –  face to face or to a group your listeners will flip the channel – there eyes will be hollow stares as they go into their own world.  You might as well be talking to your dog.  You must speak and brand you – no matter how strange you think you are inside.  To communicate you must release the freak.

Do one thing today to release your inner freak  and comment!!

“You know she is making me angry”!

3 Sep

"She is making me angry"!

“She is making me angry”!

“You know she is going to make me angry” ” I mean she doesn’t mean too but she is making me upset”  -overheard from a cell phone conversation this afternoon while walking to lunch.    Playing  that line in my mind “she is making me angry” over and over to discover it’s woven  with communication and public speaking.    Permission – yes that is what this woman was doing in her mind – she was giving her mind permission to be angry.     She has said “I can no longer hold up the walls while the flood of anger seeps”.

Do you let anxiety and fear from the eyes of the audience seep past your walls?  You are in control of your reactions and your responses to outside stimuli.   If you were in the middle of a desert  giving your presentation you would likely be comfortable and calm with your material.  Yet, when you are in a room full of eyes do you let them pierce your confidence and cause you to breath heavy, sweat, and stumble over words?  If so, you have let them win, you have let them enter your mind.   Do you want to learn how to fight back?

What is your comfort level? Leave a comment for me!

29 Aug

What is your comfort level?

What is your comfort level?

  • Level 1: Pressured and Petrified: People in this category display the greatest signs of nervousness—visible blushing, perspiration, quivering voice, or shaking hands. They are extremely uncomfortable and can barely get their words out. These individuals generally have little experience speaking to groups, but because of a recent promotion or increased job responsibilities, they are now expected to speak. They have little desire to speak in public, but are now required to do so. Their capacity for comfort is generally quite low. As such, they have a great opportunity for personal and professional growth!
  • Level 2: Hurried and Harried: These people deal with their fear and discomfort by racing through their material for one specific purpose—to get through it! They are usually familiar with their subject matter but rarely practice. They like to wing it. Many even believe that their “practice” happens while they are giving their presentation. As a result of their lack of preparation, they “hurry” through their presentation, talking too fast, shifting their weight, avoiding eye contact, and showing other physical signs of discomfort.  The good news for this group is that with a few simple changes they can quickly improve and become more comfortable and competent.
  • Level 3: Surprised and Startled: These people have situational nervousness. They are fine in their regular day-to-day presentations, but if asked to perform out of their routine, they experience anxiety and discomfort. However, they typically don’t show their nervousness. In fact, their audience barely picks up on it, but the speaker still carries the burden of anxiety. These speakers take the time to practice and are generally more prepared than most, but unusual situations cause them to revisit earlier bouts of nerves and agitation. They are often the managers who comfortably lead staff or division meetings, but when asked to speak at an all-hands meeting or at a conference, they become anxious. The good news for these speakers is that they already know how to be comfortable in front of one type of audience, so it’s just a matter of learning how to apply their skills to a new venue to be comfortable in every new situation they encounter.
  • Level 4: Eager and Enthusiastic: These are the people who love to speak and do so with ease, taking every opportunity and stepping up at a moment’s notice. They enjoy the adrenalin rush that speaking provides and ride it to peak performance. They may be executives, product evangelists, salespeople, senior leaders, marketing directors, and corporate trainers. They have already built a substantial capacity for comfort—and there is still room to grow.

This Weeks – TALLspeaking Communication Star – Mike Shelah

21 Aug

This Weeks TALLspeaking Communication Star

This Weeks TALLspeaking Communication Star

I spotted this weeks TALLspeaking Communication Star at Toastmasters at the Baltimore County Chamber of Commerce.
Meet Mike Shelah who  is a Senior Account Executive with Earthlink Business.
Now on to our Q&A….
What do you enjoy about Public Speaking?
It’s entertainment. I have fun sharing my experiences and knowledge with others
Do you get nervous?
Sure. The first time I had to present to a group I thought I was going to pass out. Once I begin the nervousness quickly disappears.
Do you use notes or memorize or go off the cuff?
Depending on the situation, I have applied all three. In sales it is important to speak concisely without knowing what you will need to say in advance. There are times when ceremony dictates a specific script to be memorized and incorporated or presented verbatim. Notes allow you to convey a message freely while assuring you touch all the key topics
What do you tell the person who is fearful of Public Speaking?
It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let that stop you from being great. You are speaking publicly because someone values what you have to say and wants to hear it.
How do you know that you are connecting with the audience?
Engagement is about reaction (laughter, applause, affirmations) and body language

As a pageant girl – I would recommend him!

16 Jul

“As a pageant girl, the ability to speak confidently and eloquently in front of other is absolutely essential. Even after one session working with Keith, I was able to see a major improvement in my level of comfort and ability to communicate effectively. Keith is fun to work with and makes you feel at ease! He is an excellent coach and I would recommend him to anyone looking to significantly improve their public speaking skills– regardless of the field of application.”
Samantha Hawkins, Miss Appalachia and Miss Maryland Sweetheart 2013

5 Public Speaking Tips to succeed in business!

25 Jun

  • Have something interesting to say. This is 80 percent of the battle. If you have nothing to say, you shouldn’t speak–end of discussion. It’s better to decline the opportunity so no one knows you don’t have anything to say than it is to make the speech and prove it.
  • Cut the sales pitch. The purpose of most keynotes is to entertain and inform. It’s seldom to provide you with an opportunity to pitch. For example, if you’re invited to speak about the future of digital music, don’t talk about the latest MP3 player your company is selling.
  • Focus on entertaining. Many speech coaches will disagree, but the goal of a speech is to entertain the audience. If people are entertained, you can slip in a few nuggets of information. But if your speech is dull, no amount of information will make it great. If I had to pick between entertaining and informing an audience, I would pick entertaining, knowing that informing will probably happen, too.
  • Understand the audience. If you can prove to your audience in the first five minutes that you understand who they are, you’ve got them for the rest of the speech. All you need to understand are the trends, competition and key issues facing the audience members. This simply requires consultation with the host organization and a willingness to customize your introductory remarks.
  • Overdress. My father was a politician in Hawaii. When I started speaking, he gave me this advice: Never dress beneath the level of the audience. That is, if they’re wearing suits, you should wear a suit. To underdress is to communicate, “I’m smarter/richer/more powerful than you. I can’t take you seriously, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” This is hardly the way to get an audience to like you.

Public Speaking lessons for your child?

18 Jun

 

 

 

Having to speak in front of an audience scares most people, but if your child learns this crucial skill in their childhood you will help them to avoid being ever anxious about speaking in public. Children approach things often in a fearless way. Thus, the sooner you start teaching your child public speaking skills the better. Speaking in front of people – taught at an early age – might help them to become great communicators and leaders one day. A skill and asset that they will keep for the rest of their life.

Some tips to help your child become a better speaker!

 Show them (good and poor) videos of presentations online.

Look on You tube and other video sharing websites for speeches and presentations. Find some good and some poor examples. Watching poor presentations might teach your child more than watching a good speech. Sit together with your child and discuss: Was it a good or a poor presentation? Why was it good? Why was it poor? What could they (or you) personally apply to my own presentation in the future?

 Provide any opportunity to hold speeches in your private circle.

Whenever there is an important event, such as a wedding celebration, an anniversary party, a friend or relative’s birthday, etc. allow your child to speak. The more exposure your child gets to bigger groups the better. Your child will gain a powerful advantage and as adult they will lose their fear of public speaking.

Blushing – Just stop caring

17 Jun

Tallspeaking, Blushing, getting red, getting nervous, public speaking,

Stop Caring about Blushing

 

 

Stop caring. Not only is your blushing much less noticeable than you probably think, it’s also helpful to remember that most people either find blushing to be cute or endearing. There are benefits to being a blusher. They include:

  • People who witness someone blush find the blusher to be more sympathetic, softening their social judgments of the person. In this way, blushing may help build better social bonds.
  • Researchers believe that people who blush are better at relationships, reporting higher levels of monogamy and trustworthiness.

Don’t feel responsible for blushing. Whatever you do, don’t feel responsible for blushing. It is involuntary. Train your mind to understand that your conscious thoughts have nothing to do with this autonomic bodily response. You are not to blame, and you are not guilty of anything. If you let go of feeling responsible for blushing, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself blushing less often.

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