Tag Archives: negative thoughts

People hate it when they get talked at, so don’t do it.

29 Oct

TALLspeaking tips before, during, and after your presentation!

  1. Don’t abuse your visuals – Usually your visuals are posters, charts, but never use PowerPoint .  Whatever your visuals may be, keep them simple and don’t put too many words on them. The audience isn’t there to read your slides, they are there to listen to you present.
  2. Look at the audience – If you ever wondered where you should be looking when presenting, the answer is right in front of you. Don’t just single out one person, but instead try to make eye contact with numerous people throughout the room. If you don’t do this then you aren’t engaging the audience, you are just talking to yourself. This can result in an utter lack of attention from your audience.
  3. Show your personality – It doesn’t matter if you are presenting to a corporate crowd or to senior citizens, you need to show some character when presenting. If you don’t do this you’ll probably sound like Agent Smith from the Matrix. Nobody wants to hear him present
  4. Make them laugh – Although you want to educate your audience, you need to make them laugh as well. I learned this from Guy Kawasaki and if you ever hear any of his speeches you’ll understand why. In essence, it keeps the audience alert and they’ll learn more from you than someone who just educates.
Always believe a guy in a bow tie!

Always believe a guy in a bow tie!

  1. Talk to your audience, not at them – People hate it when they get talked at, so don’t do it. You need to interact with your audience and create a conversation. An easy way to do this is to ask them questions as well as letting them ask you questions.
  2. Be honest – A lot of people present to the audience what they want to hear, instead of what they need to hear. Make sure you tell the truth even if they don’t want to hear it because they will respect you for that and it will make you more human and authentic.
  3. Don’t over prepare – If you rehearse your presentation too much it will sound like it in a bad way.  Never tape your presentation because you will start to look rehearsed.   Granted, you need to be prepared enough to know what you are going to talk about but make sure your presentation flows naturally instead of sounding memorized. Usually if you ask experienced speakers what you shouldn’t do, they’ll tell you not to rehearse your presentation too much because then it won’t sound natural.
  4. Show some movement – You probably know that you need to show some movement when speaking, but naturally you may forget to do so. Make sure you show some gestures or pace around a bit (not too much) on the stage when speaking. Remember, no one likes watching a stiff. People are more engaged with an animated speaker.
  5. Watch what you say – You usually don’t notice when you say “uhm”, “ah”, or any other useless word frequently, but the audience does. It gets quite irritating; so much that some members of the audience will probably count how many times you say these useless words.  Learn how to eliminate weak language from your everyday use.
  6. Differentiate yourself – If you don’t do something unique compared to all the other presenters the audience has heard, they won’t remember you. You are branding yourself when you speak, so make sure you do something unique and memorable.

“This guy loves Jesus and I love this guy” New Feature – Sunday Night You Tube Speech Star

8 Sep

 

Listen for it “take a chill pill”  –  this Pastor is my pick for the Sunday Night You Tube Speech Star!  He has the guts to tell his congregation that I am going to lose some of you (members) and tells his audience that maybe you have some issues.  Telling them we love to judge other peoples faults because it keeps it off us.  He has moved past judgement – it does not affect his voice or tone because he is in the “zone” of authenticity.  Listen to his rhythm  and how it’s weaved with humor, in a way that isn’t offensive but catches the audience off guard.  He is using his words to expose hypocrisy in teachings – that is why he is using dramatic body language – because it reduces the tension in the room by using his body as the grounding agent.  He uses his eyes as lasers to direct his message to key members  and his pauses let the message peculate in a highly effective way!

What is your comfort level? Leave a comment for me!

29 Aug

What is your comfort level?

What is your comfort level?

  • Level 1: Pressured and Petrified: People in this category display the greatest signs of nervousness—visible blushing, perspiration, quivering voice, or shaking hands. They are extremely uncomfortable and can barely get their words out. These individuals generally have little experience speaking to groups, but because of a recent promotion or increased job responsibilities, they are now expected to speak. They have little desire to speak in public, but are now required to do so. Their capacity for comfort is generally quite low. As such, they have a great opportunity for personal and professional growth!
  • Level 2: Hurried and Harried: These people deal with their fear and discomfort by racing through their material for one specific purpose—to get through it! They are usually familiar with their subject matter but rarely practice. They like to wing it. Many even believe that their “practice” happens while they are giving their presentation. As a result of their lack of preparation, they “hurry” through their presentation, talking too fast, shifting their weight, avoiding eye contact, and showing other physical signs of discomfort.  The good news for this group is that with a few simple changes they can quickly improve and become more comfortable and competent.
  • Level 3: Surprised and Startled: These people have situational nervousness. They are fine in their regular day-to-day presentations, but if asked to perform out of their routine, they experience anxiety and discomfort. However, they typically don’t show their nervousness. In fact, their audience barely picks up on it, but the speaker still carries the burden of anxiety. These speakers take the time to practice and are generally more prepared than most, but unusual situations cause them to revisit earlier bouts of nerves and agitation. They are often the managers who comfortably lead staff or division meetings, but when asked to speak at an all-hands meeting or at a conference, they become anxious. The good news for these speakers is that they already know how to be comfortable in front of one type of audience, so it’s just a matter of learning how to apply their skills to a new venue to be comfortable in every new situation they encounter.
  • Level 4: Eager and Enthusiastic: These are the people who love to speak and do so with ease, taking every opportunity and stepping up at a moment’s notice. They enjoy the adrenalin rush that speaking provides and ride it to peak performance. They may be executives, product evangelists, salespeople, senior leaders, marketing directors, and corporate trainers. They have already built a substantial capacity for comfort—and there is still room to grow.

Public Speaking is like dating…….hmmmmm

18 Jul

  • Nerves – It’s natural to be nervous before a big first date (or a second or third). We are excited to see the other person and excited by the possibilities of it all. We are also nervous that our date will hate us. We get butterflies in our tummies before a big speech for many of the same reasons. The nerves are natural but focusing on the other person (or audience) can tame them.
  • Look sharp – Nothing like your date showing up in a tattered Led Zeppelin t-shirt and cut-offs. Nothing says I don’t want to be dating you like bad hygiene and poor grooming! Likewise, nothing tells an audience you don’t care quite like when you don’t dress up for a speech. I’m not suggesting  wearing a 3 piece suit when you speak, but dress for the audience and occasion. It’s a way to make a great first impression.
  • Tease – Flirting is how we show another person we are interested. We lean forward, smile, and make jokes. It grabs our date’s attention. When we speak, it’s important to tease the audience. Capture their attention in the first 30 seconds of your presentation with a story that leaves them begging for more.
  • Take an interest – Dating 101 – don’t talk about yourself the whole time! Ask questions about the other person to show you are interested in them. When speaking, remember a speech is not about the speaker! It’s about the audience. Show the audience your are interested in them just like you would show a date.
  • Take action – The date goes great, but waiting by the phone for it to ring sucks! Relationship experts suggest that if you have a good date, then take action and ask for the next date. In speaking, we want to leave the audience with something they can do, know or feel. Leave your date and your audience with a plan for action!

Rock an impromptu speech!

2 Jul

Off the cuff speech

Wrap your response around a simple template, or framework. If you practice this a few times, you will find that your mini-speeches are much more polished and coherent. A few easy frameworks include:

  1. P.R.E.P. (Point. Reason. Example. Point) – Start off by clearly stating your point. Share the primary reason (or reasons, if you have more time). Then, share an example (preferably in story form) where your main point or reason is supported. Finally, conclude by summarizing your central point again. The template works well in many situations, and is easily adapted.
  2. Issue, Pros vs. Cons, Conclusions – Start off by framing the issue. Talk about the benefits, and then talk about the drawbacks. Conclude with your recommendation.
  3. 5W – In this pattern, you cover your topic by addressing the Who, What, When, Where, and Why elements. For example, if you’ve been asked to speak briefly about a fundraising initiative, you could talk about [1] whostarted it, and who is involved now; [2] what the goals are; [3] when it started, and the schedule for the future; [4] where does it take place; and [5] why are you involved. This template works nicely, largely because the “why?” comes last, because this is often the most critical information.

Always go red when you’re embarrassed? New research shows it’s a sign you’ll be a great lover

19 Jun

 

 

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Blushing occurs when adrenalin generated by an uncomfortable situation makes blood vessels near the surface of the skin expand, allowing more blood to flow and leaving the sufferer red-faced.

It’s an involuntary reaction which we all fall victim to from time to time, but pale and pasty skins such as mine show up the offending blush more than darker ones.

And it’s not just your cheeks that go red. The ‘blush region’ can include your ears, neck and chest — and each blush is different. Some come on thick and fast, others spread slowly across the upper-body like a horrible, blotchy rash.

blushing still shows endearing vulnerability — so much so that, even today, researchers say blushing can help us when we are dating, or even trying to do a business deal.

They’ve also concluded that when we blush after doing something socially embarrassing — such as accidentally standing on someone’s toe — it’s like an non-verbal apology and therefore diffuses any aggression.

 

Do you turn red in group settings?

Do you turn red in group settings?

Here are some tips on how to reduce blushing especially when speaking in Public!

  • Try chewing gum. Takes a mind off things.
  • Do as many social things as possible. The more comfortable you are around people, the less you will blush. Interacting with people will make your life more fulfilling and will simply make you a confident and more interesting person.
  • If you blush every time you are even in the same room as your crush, or talking to them especially, you probably turn very red. This type of blushing can be so intense it is unavoidable. The only thing you can do in a situation like this is try to calm yourself by taking a few deep breaths.
  • Try casually covering your cheek with your hand if you feel a blush coming on and can’t prevent it.
  • Keep drinking water if you feel like you’re going red.
  • Remember that people really don’t tend to notice unless you make it a big deal and try too hard to hide it.
  • If worse comes to worst, go to the nearest bathroom or kitchen and put a damp cloth on your face. An air conditioner will also do the trick.
  • Don’t worry blushing is natural, its beautiful as it makes a person look alive and healthy. People don’t notice it as much as you think in fact your body language is what counts, so if you’re blushing ignore it and keep your body language normal.
  • Try wearing foundation that matches your natural skin tone. It works like an absolute charm.
  • Try using a paler foundation, or one that matches your skin tone. Relax, and just try to ignore it!

Botox silences women’s faces – and freezes out empathy in body language

29 May

Botox Face

Facial micro-mimicry is the major way we understand others’ emotions. If you are wincing in pain I immediately do a micro-wince, which sends a message to my brain about what you are experiencing. By experiencing it myself I understand what you are going through. This suggests that not only do I find my Botoxed friends hard to read, but they are also hindered in their capacity to read me. An unfortunate feedback cycle. The possible implications of this are frightening.

There has been a study into the effects of Botox on the ability to empathise, but nothing that specifically addresses the impacts on friendship, or the mother-infant bond. The absence of discussion around the effect of Botox on mothering is troubling considering that a mother’s display of emotions is how the infant learns to interact with the world. Psychologists have a method for testing infant distress at unresponsive faces called the “still face paradigm”. Any alarm bells ringing?

Empathy is a cornerstone of our relationships, vital to both building and maintaining positive interactions with others. That many women are presenting themselves as a still image is disturbing and worthy of consideration. The poker face, by definition, doesn’t express anything. With the proliferation ofselfies and the focus on static representations of women’s faces, are we forgetting how much of who we are is communicated through facial expressions? Are we, in some sense, choosing a form of silence far more insidious than women have ever known in the past? Who benefits from the silencing of women’s faces? And what is the cost?

 

 

I’m here to tell you… – It is a good thing you told me why you are here, I was starting to wonder.

21 May

Get rid of the trendy catch phrases!!! They annoy the hell out of people and you will be tuned out in a heart beat. Here are some examples of phrases to trash:

 Absolutely! (Did you get a job? Absolutely!) – Ding Dong, is anyone
home?! This is a simple yes or no answer! Absolutely ≠ Yes
 Chime-in (I’d like to chime-in) – What are you, a clock?
 The good news is… – Now you think you’re a reporter!? Go see a shrink
and when you come back, start saying fortunately instead of pretending to
be a reporter!
 Pluralizing a name (…the Enrons of the world) – There is only one of these
Einstein! Just say, “companies like Enron… ”
 Push back (we are getting a lot of push back on that idea) – This sounds
like what happens when you have to #2 but can’t get to the toilet. Is the
word resistance too hard?
 I’m here to tell you… – It is a good thing you told me why you are here, I
was starting to wonder.
 Radar screen (That’s not on my radar screen.) – What are you an air traffic
controller?
 Let me (let me tell you something) – Do you need my permission to speak?

Lace is probably the most recognizable material for sexy lingerie, but what makes it so sexy? TALLspeaking – KEITH SCOTT

18 Apr

Lace is probably the most recognizable material for sexy lingerie, but what makes it so sexy? Perhaps it’s that it’s a very traditional material that’s beloved of both men and women and is always bound to bring back memories? Maybe it’s the ultra-feminine look of lace?

I believe the allure of lace is in the fact that it creates desire – it offers a sense of mystery and mystic.  In communication and pubic speaking we are wanting the audience to listen with a sense of desire and anticipation.  If we give them everything at once they will lose interest.  Yet, when presenting – if we slowly bring them into the story –  building the plot and description the eyes of the entire audience will be on you.  Remember the power of lace – it’s ability to attract attention – find ways to make your presentation have the same appeal as lace and you will be the life of the presentation.

Study: Everyone Wants to Be Having the Most Sex

16 Apr

Research done at University of Colorado, Boulder found that people who said they are happier also reported having sex on the reg. No surprise there.
However, when sexual frequency was put as the control, people who simply believed they were having less sex than other people were unhappier than those who believed they were having as much or more than their peers. 

Basically, “having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier,” says Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of sociology who helmed the study.

When you are presenting in front of a large group envision your presentation in your imagination – think about how you are going to walk up to the microphone, imagine the smells of the room, your feet on the floor.  Take time to imagine the audience smiling, nodding their heads with great interest.   People laughing at your humor and focused on your every word.   You are now the best speaker that the audience has heard in years.  It’s your imagination that will set your mood and allow you to excel.  Of course it’s not as fun as….. 

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