Tag Archives: women

Show me your inner freak!!

15 Oct

Getting older has one silver lining – you can quickly discern and remove those fake people from your life.  To me it’s all about authenticity – truly being your chemical make-up.   So many people lose authenticity and become robotic copies of people they think are successful.  Morrissey has a song called “People are the same everywhere”  and he is desperate not to be part of a herd mentality.  The herd has no passion, no innovation, no richness, no depth.

If you are fake in communication –  face to face or to a group your listeners will flip the channel – there eyes will be hollow stares as they go into their own world.  You might as well be talking to your dog.  You must speak and brand you – no matter how strange you think you are inside.  To communicate you must release the freak.

Do one thing today to release your inner freak  and comment!!

“Every time I go on a sales call the guys interrupt me”!

27 Aug

Caveman

“Every time I go on a sales call and bring team members they keep interrupting my presentation”    

“I start out with an introduction and as soon as I stumble over a word or have a long pause they jump in and I end up sitting there looking stupid”

“It’s so frustrating that I dread going on sales appointments and even get anxious the night before”

This is a story familiar to many people especially woman who are working in  male – dominated fields such as engineering or contracting.  The women are typically in sales/relationship roles within the company and the men are in the technical area.   The men who are called upon as so called “Subject Experts”  have social skills that resemble neanderthal society.

The fact is you can’t not be the spark of evolution – meaning your not going to change them.  They lack social skills and understanding of common civics in a social setting.   If they have not learned these basic kindergarten skills then your complaining to them will be wasted breath.

So what do you do?

First you have to know that you are the communication expert in the room because you know the secret sauce of a sales relationship.  Use this to your advantage in being the moderator of the discussion not just the starter.  Similar to an anchor reporter talking with 4-5 people during a table discussion.    You must assert control and in many incidents you must cut off  a person.

You may be concerned how this looks to the client who is deciding  if they want to actually do business with you? That client wants you to be confident!   They are going to do business if they trust you to get required results.  If your team takes advantage of you in the sales meeting – what does that say to the future buyer?  It makes you look weak and ineffective.

Interested in learning how to take control – let’s talk further.

5 Public Speaking Tips to succeed in business!

25 Jun

  • Have something interesting to say. This is 80 percent of the battle. If you have nothing to say, you shouldn’t speak–end of discussion. It’s better to decline the opportunity so no one knows you don’t have anything to say than it is to make the speech and prove it.
  • Cut the sales pitch. The purpose of most keynotes is to entertain and inform. It’s seldom to provide you with an opportunity to pitch. For example, if you’re invited to speak about the future of digital music, don’t talk about the latest MP3 player your company is selling.
  • Focus on entertaining. Many speech coaches will disagree, but the goal of a speech is to entertain the audience. If people are entertained, you can slip in a few nuggets of information. But if your speech is dull, no amount of information will make it great. If I had to pick between entertaining and informing an audience, I would pick entertaining, knowing that informing will probably happen, too.
  • Understand the audience. If you can prove to your audience in the first five minutes that you understand who they are, you’ve got them for the rest of the speech. All you need to understand are the trends, competition and key issues facing the audience members. This simply requires consultation with the host organization and a willingness to customize your introductory remarks.
  • Overdress. My father was a politician in Hawaii. When I started speaking, he gave me this advice: Never dress beneath the level of the audience. That is, if they’re wearing suits, you should wear a suit. To underdress is to communicate, “I’m smarter/richer/more powerful than you. I can’t take you seriously, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” This is hardly the way to get an audience to like you.

Always go red when you’re embarrassed? New research shows it’s a sign you’ll be a great lover

19 Jun

 

 

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Do you blush when you have to speak?

Blushing occurs when adrenalin generated by an uncomfortable situation makes blood vessels near the surface of the skin expand, allowing more blood to flow and leaving the sufferer red-faced.

It’s an involuntary reaction which we all fall victim to from time to time, but pale and pasty skins such as mine show up the offending blush more than darker ones.

And it’s not just your cheeks that go red. The ‘blush region’ can include your ears, neck and chest — and each blush is different. Some come on thick and fast, others spread slowly across the upper-body like a horrible, blotchy rash.

blushing still shows endearing vulnerability — so much so that, even today, researchers say blushing can help us when we are dating, or even trying to do a business deal.

They’ve also concluded that when we blush after doing something socially embarrassing — such as accidentally standing on someone’s toe — it’s like an non-verbal apology and therefore diffuses any aggression.

 

Do you turn red in group settings?

Do you turn red in group settings?

Here are some tips on how to reduce blushing especially when speaking in Public!

  • Try chewing gum. Takes a mind off things.
  • Do as many social things as possible. The more comfortable you are around people, the less you will blush. Interacting with people will make your life more fulfilling and will simply make you a confident and more interesting person.
  • If you blush every time you are even in the same room as your crush, or talking to them especially, you probably turn very red. This type of blushing can be so intense it is unavoidable. The only thing you can do in a situation like this is try to calm yourself by taking a few deep breaths.
  • Try casually covering your cheek with your hand if you feel a blush coming on and can’t prevent it.
  • Keep drinking water if you feel like you’re going red.
  • Remember that people really don’t tend to notice unless you make it a big deal and try too hard to hide it.
  • If worse comes to worst, go to the nearest bathroom or kitchen and put a damp cloth on your face. An air conditioner will also do the trick.
  • Don’t worry blushing is natural, its beautiful as it makes a person look alive and healthy. People don’t notice it as much as you think in fact your body language is what counts, so if you’re blushing ignore it and keep your body language normal.
  • Try wearing foundation that matches your natural skin tone. It works like an absolute charm.
  • Try using a paler foundation, or one that matches your skin tone. Relax, and just try to ignore it!

Public Speaking lessons for your child?

18 Jun

 

 

 

Having to speak in front of an audience scares most people, but if your child learns this crucial skill in their childhood you will help them to avoid being ever anxious about speaking in public. Children approach things often in a fearless way. Thus, the sooner you start teaching your child public speaking skills the better. Speaking in front of people – taught at an early age – might help them to become great communicators and leaders one day. A skill and asset that they will keep for the rest of their life.

Some tips to help your child become a better speaker!

 Show them (good and poor) videos of presentations online.

Look on You tube and other video sharing websites for speeches and presentations. Find some good and some poor examples. Watching poor presentations might teach your child more than watching a good speech. Sit together with your child and discuss: Was it a good or a poor presentation? Why was it good? Why was it poor? What could they (or you) personally apply to my own presentation in the future?

 Provide any opportunity to hold speeches in your private circle.

Whenever there is an important event, such as a wedding celebration, an anniversary party, a friend or relative’s birthday, etc. allow your child to speak. The more exposure your child gets to bigger groups the better. Your child will gain a powerful advantage and as adult they will lose their fear of public speaking.

Blushing – Just stop caring

17 Jun

Tallspeaking, Blushing, getting red, getting nervous, public speaking,

Stop Caring about Blushing

 

 

Stop caring. Not only is your blushing much less noticeable than you probably think, it’s also helpful to remember that most people either find blushing to be cute or endearing. There are benefits to being a blusher. They include:

  • People who witness someone blush find the blusher to be more sympathetic, softening their social judgments of the person. In this way, blushing may help build better social bonds.
  • Researchers believe that people who blush are better at relationships, reporting higher levels of monogamy and trustworthiness.

Don’t feel responsible for blushing. Whatever you do, don’t feel responsible for blushing. It is involuntary. Train your mind to understand that your conscious thoughts have nothing to do with this autonomic bodily response. You are not to blame, and you are not guilty of anything. If you let go of feeling responsible for blushing, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself blushing less often.

Botox silences women’s faces – and freezes out empathy in body language

29 May

Botox Face

Facial micro-mimicry is the major way we understand others’ emotions. If you are wincing in pain I immediately do a micro-wince, which sends a message to my brain about what you are experiencing. By experiencing it myself I understand what you are going through. This suggests that not only do I find my Botoxed friends hard to read, but they are also hindered in their capacity to read me. An unfortunate feedback cycle. The possible implications of this are frightening.

There has been a study into the effects of Botox on the ability to empathise, but nothing that specifically addresses the impacts on friendship, or the mother-infant bond. The absence of discussion around the effect of Botox on mothering is troubling considering that a mother’s display of emotions is how the infant learns to interact with the world. Psychologists have a method for testing infant distress at unresponsive faces called the “still face paradigm”. Any alarm bells ringing?

Empathy is a cornerstone of our relationships, vital to both building and maintaining positive interactions with others. That many women are presenting themselves as a still image is disturbing and worthy of consideration. The poker face, by definition, doesn’t express anything. With the proliferation ofselfies and the focus on static representations of women’s faces, are we forgetting how much of who we are is communicated through facial expressions? Are we, in some sense, choosing a form of silence far more insidious than women have ever known in the past? Who benefits from the silencing of women’s faces? And what is the cost?

 

 

Keith Scott – So, like, why am I saying “um”?

16 May

Filler words, anxiety, public speaking

So, like, why am I saying “um”?

Why do we use filler words? The simplest answer is that we have been conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age. When our mother or father asked us a question, we were sure to answer right away—either because we wanted to show respect or because we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t answer. Consequently, we feel the urge to speak when spoken to.

The next time you are asked a question, take a couple seconds to think about what you want to say. This pause serves two important purposes: it will help you begin powerfully, and it will help you avoid using a filler word. Pause, think, answer.

The same public speaking technique applies when you are transitioning from one idea to another. While you may be tempted to fill the silence between ideas with a filler word, remember to pause and give yourself a moment to think about what you want to say next. It is important that you don’t begin speaking until you are ready.Remember: Pause, think, answer.

It may feel unnatural to pause, especially since you have responded to questions right away for your entire life. I assure you that you will deliver more powerful responses and reduce your chance of using filler words if you give yourself time to think.

Do you ever feel trapped in an elevator for 41 hours? – by TALLspeaking

22 Jun

Do you feel this way when you have to give a presentation?  

“I start getting anxious when I know that I will be in a meeting, or classroom situation where I will be asked to speak. I worry about it so much, I can’t even concentrate on the subject the group is discussing. I start wishing I could just run out of the room. What bothers me the most about public speaking, is the fact that everybody is looking at me while I am talking. It is as though I can feel their eyes on me.”

You don’t have to live your life feeling trapped where you can’t express yourself.  

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